What's the deal with corporate america (and white shoes)???
It’s the start of my junior year, and I feel more confused than ever.
It’s the start of my junior year, and I feel more confused than ever. (I will say though, confused but happy)
“If you have the ability to make a lot of money, why not?”
As a kid, my mom always jokingly told me I was naturally smart; I just didn’t have the work ethic to back it up. Although she may not have realized it, what a perfect narrative to tell a child! It was another way of saying, “you can be anything you want to be” while inspiring me to get off my butt and actually put in the work (what Hustlefizz is all about!).
As I’ve gotten older, her words have shifted to fit the context of making money. Although I’m not someone who finds riches to be particularly enticing, I’ve been grappling with the fact: if I don’t have anything better to do, why not shoot my shot at making a little money? I’ll always support chasing your passions first, but, frankly, at 21, I have no idea what my true passions are. So, if I don’t have a better plan, should I just hop on the bandwagon and join corporate America for a few years?
For context, I’m a Business major and an English minor.
I have two oppositional thoughts:
Pro-Corporate America: I think I could be decently successful working a corporate job. Although I’m certainly not as status-hungry or money-hungry as some of my peers (although I’m sympathetic towards them… I’ve also had my moments), planning how to land an Analyst position at McKinsey since they first entered college, I do believe I have the drive (and focus) it takes to be successful at a corporation. I’m very goal-driven/task-driven. I can take a lot of stress; I’m consistent; I strongly believe in delivering high quality work; and, for the most part, I perform well under pressure. Again, if I don’t currently have a more compelling dream to chase, why not?
Now here’s are my qualms:
I’m taking a Justice and Consumer Culture course at my university because, like any good Humanities student, I want to hear both sides of the story. There’s so much cultural criticism surrounding corporations, but I wanted to hear a more coherent argument which directly opposes the views being relayed to me in the Business School. It’s hilarious, I go from International Trade in which every economic model “proves” the benefits of trade to this theology class which explains the human backlash of those very same models.
Anti-Corporate America: I walk out of these theology classes feeling quite icky about my major. I get the overwhelming urge to severe all association with the Business School. Yet, it’s not so much the ethical state of these corporations that bothers me (I can’t really blame a corporation for not having a soul), but rather it is overlooking these ethical quandaries for my own personal benefit which doesn’t sit right. Frankly, it feels selfish.
But, money is money is money. At the end of the day, although I certainly do not plan on giving my life to these companies, I recognize that living in the normative is unrealistic. Circling back to the first point, if I had a more compelling option —a profession I felt strongly about— I’d pursue it in a heartbeat. Alas, I’m still searching for my passion, and instead will probably end up working a corporate job for a few years while I figure it out. Increasingly, I feel okay about that, perhaps even excited.
As I pursue my Business Major, I honestly find the work to be quite interesting. Yet, I’m also an English minor and frankly —intentionally or not— make most of my friends outside of the Business School. When I tell them about pursuing consulting or investment banking, I find myself admitting to applying for these positions with a sheepish attitude; it feels as if I’ve betrayed not only them, but The Humanities as a discipline. I expect my friends to deflate a little because that’s how I would react.
Yet, I take solace in knowing that I will always, always come back to the Humanities, to the Arts. Whether it be in five years or fifty, they are home.
Recently I had the epiphany that all of the people closest to me are writers and the majority of the people I surround myself with are readers. In fact, a disproportionate number of my best friends have either already drafted a novel or are aspiring novelists. All of my friendships in middle school were based on reading. Unknowingly, I’ve surrounded myself with people who create and consume stories; I have to believe that says something about me too.
It’s not that I only talk to these people about books (although that’s certainly a plus), but there’s a willingness within writers (at least good ones) to look at themselves, the world, their friends and be frank. That’s what I love the most about my friends. They’re loving, but they’re honest. I think I’m like that too. As both a recipient of advice and as a provider of advice, the truth is a hard pill to swallow, but no truth is a fixed state. I think that final sentence makes me an optimist. At least when it comes to situations, I fundamentally believe we can help ourselves. We are not at the mercy of our surroundings.
Although I know I love reading and writing (and think I’m decently good at both), they promise nebulous futures, whereas the business career trajectory is a straight shot. Right now, I need this clarity; I crave this certainty.
I’ve never wanted to be a journalist (it’s terrible, but I don’t always keep up with the news myself) and, although I entertained being a lawyer for a while (and still sometimes do), I don’t know if law is all that much better than business. I don’t want to be a teacher because, it feels circular: you learn information to pass it on to a different generation (to me, it feels like being an extraneous middleman, although I think the experience of teaching is incredibly fulfilling, and I’d consider teaching later on in life). Being a screenwriter is too volatile of a job. So, it feels like I am left with Corporate America, which, can actually be quite interesting (I enjoy my classes) and, for a transition phase, is okay.
In high school, when I was beginning to develop my fashion style, I felt deeply perplexed by what kind of shoes I should purchase. I had never, ever considered shoes for anything other than their utility. Upon looking around, I noticed everyone wears white Nike Air Force Ones. And so, I bought those, knowing they were the “standard” for kids my age. Although the shoes didn’t express my unique style, at a time when I was still figuring that style out, they were acceptable in the meantime. That’s how I feel about working a corporate job. It’s certainly not the end goal. Yet, during my presumed time working a corporate job, I hope I keep writing in some capacity because I have a sneaking suspicion that writing (and reading and the Arts) will lead me into the future, unveiling unexpected dreams.