I took a bit of a hiatus from this blog because I wasn’t sure what to write about for the longest time, being vulnerable about my little project made me nervous. But, after thinking back to the mission statement of this substack, I want Hustlefizz to cover genuine emotions regarding hustling, and boy have I felt a roller coaster of emotions in the past week or two.
After initially posting my first episodes and sharing them on my private social media, again the embarrassment returned. I recently watched the Social Dilemma on Netflix which mentioned how, due to the judgmental nature of social media, Gen-Z is more afraid to take risks. This fear stops a lot of people from hustling, so I want to recognize those of us who keep going because it’s not easy; it’s a battle. As a twenty-year-old, I had to keep reminding myself that my Instagram is MY Instagram; I can post whatever the heck I want to on there. IT’S MINE. Somehow, many people in my generation forget that, including myself. We grew up with “posting anxiety,” chucking our phone across the room every time we posted anything, nervous about how many likes it would get, and, perhaps even more importantly, *gasp* how many comments. God forbid a friend didn’t comment; we’d be passive aggressively feuding with them for days.
Yet, after the emotional thrill of posting on social media faded, I found myself experiencing a rising panic, realizing my podcast is a real thing which I am going to have to keep up, stick to (perhaps that permanency is what scared me away from this substack). The schedule I proclaimed to the world is live. The podcast feels like my “professional” product, unlike Hustlefizz which feels informal, a place where I can just dump all my thoughts. With the pod, especially when dealing with guests, I have to be “professional.” As a sophomore in college with minimal work experience, I feel like I’m faking it, unsure why anybody would take me seriously. But, what’s the alternative? Letting the emotions get to me and quitting? The latter seems cowardly, and I refuse to surrender if only because of that.
Once this panic registered, although I have some material stored up to release, I found myself anxious to secure future guests, secure the future of the pod really. Then came the stressful cycle of frantically reaching out to people while attempting to appear calm and collected. Reaching out, time and time again, to seemingly infinite people with no reply was exhausting and demoralizing. On the flip side of panic is elation. Anytime I got a response, I couldn’t help put grin. Working with others, especially those I don’t know personally, is a slow process.
Yet, strangely, despite the fluctuation in emotion, I never once wanted to quit. I think that’s the nature of hustling. Up, down, and sideways your emotions are yanked. Up, down, and sideways things go wrong. Yet, forward we march.