i listened to 66,085 minutes of music
when was the last time you sat in silence?
Last year, when everyone’s Spotify Wrapped came out, I felt an overwhelming smugness looking at my stats. When others announced their mere 20k minutes with pride, I stood at the ready, waiting to jump in and pull out my trump card: 66,085 minutes— that’s how much music I listened to last year. 1100+ hours. I’d watch as friends’ jaws dropped, as coworkers stared at me in awe. I’d bask in the glory of being an elite ~cultured~ being who is such a patron of the arts that I devoted 12.5% of my life in 2023 to listening to music (never mind that it was all Pop, so I was really supporting big record labels… what can I say, I like what I like). As I clicked through Instagram stories, there were maybe one or two people who had me beat, but, for the most part, I was at the top of the food chain.
Yet, the further I clicked, the more I realized I was an anomaly, and I began to get the sinking feeling that maybe this wasn’t a good thing. What did it say about me that I spent so much time with my ears plugged into a playlist?
Now, I’m not here to judge anyone’s music-listening habits, but, as 2024 progresses, I must say, I am embracing silence more than I ever have before. Sometimes, on walks to class or strolls downtown, I instinctively pull out my headphones, only to pause and put them away again, instead realizing I prefer to just listen to the wind and chatter. In coffee shops, I find comfort in the steaming espresso machine and the buzzing milk frother.
Headphones keep me detached from my surroundings, insulated from the blaring ambulance but also from a friend trying to get my attention. Once, I have my playlist going, I’m lost in my own world. This is okay sometimes, but if I want my dreamland to manifest into reality, it needs to be tethered to the “real world” in some way. I need to appreciate the world, not run away from it.
I had a dance teacher once who would yell at us “open your eyes!” while we were executing complicated corps de ballet formations, crossing sides, from lines to a V to a circle. She was asking us not to have tunnel vision but to see the stage and see each other. I’m applying the same principle to my ears. I’d like to hear the world more clearly, “opening my ears.”
I’m more inviting unplugged. Rather than merely waving at an acquaintance, I stop and ask if she needs helping carrying something. Moreover, without headphones, people around you get the sense that you’ll hear them if they speak; there’s nothing more discouraging than being ignored. I want to be the kind of person other people choose to ask directions from, someone who strangers might strike up a conversation with. There are so many small opportunities for service and opportunities for connection that I miss entirely because of my headphones.
In a strange way, I think walking around without headphones is making me a better person?
One of my favorite forms of exercise is swimming. Now, I’m realizing part of the reason for this is the silence the water forces you to endure. For half an hour I drift, listening only to the sound of other swimmers. The pool is also a venue for brainstorming sessions, and some of my best ideas and ambitions are born from mindlessly meandering through the chlorine water.
A month ago, I wrote about being more unapologetic this year. In many ways this theme is already manifesting. A large part of being unapologetic is taking risks. Perhaps a small act of defiance against my normal way of living, but embracing silence feels like a bit of a risk. It is form of unplugging from the digital and staying present, both of which, in this age, are pretty unapologetic.
I challenge you, reader, to just sit in silence in a situation when you’d normally put on music. Whether that’s your commute to work or while you’re making dinner, do so in silence.
Comment down below what happens.